Blast From the Past

Zoom Back With Bernadette

For years I’ve been using my stunning arm twirling trick to astonish the boys.

“Moms can do anything.  We can see out the back of our heads, we can curl our tongues, and we can make our arms pass through each other without a single drop of blood spilling to the floor,” I’d say, demonstrating.  “Too bad you have a penis instead of bosoms and will never be able to do this.”

My secret was revealed when Bill came in and saw me standing in the kitchen, arms awhirl, while the boys watched, flabbergasted.

“Hey, I can do that,” Bill said, and he did, thus ruining my line about the power of breasts.

Of course, then all the boys had to master the skill, so we taught them.

But no one teaches it as well as Bernadette did back in the days of Zoom.


Two years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: In Which I Discover That Porter Has Been Hired By The Government


  • Domestic Chicky

    I knew exactly what you were talking about when I read the title! I have yet do dazzle my dudes with that awesome skill, but I think it’s high time. Next thing you know, you’ll be teaching them Ubbi-dubbi!

    Domestic Chicky’s last blog post..The Women

  • karyn

    And here I was thinking, well, hey, I have tatas til Tuesday here, I should have this sucker locked and loaded. But no. Mostly I twisted an elbow and smacked myself in the forehead. I’m going back to bed.

    karyn’s last blog post..Sharp Dressed Man

  • Jenni D

    Oh my goodness! I loved Zoom. My brothers made fun of me for it. They had nicknames for everyone on Zoom. The only one I remember is Neil was called Spidey. I even sent fan mail, asking for an autographed picture of Bernadette. I got Ann’s instead. Hmph. Boy was I ticked off!
    Thanks for reminding me of the arm trick– I’m off to wow my clan!

  • Kelly

    That’s ZOOM! Z-double oh M! Box 350, Boston Mass! 0,2,1,3,4!!
    Wow – thanks for bringing back some of my brain cells!

    That is a great endorsement for memorizing little “ditties” to help you remember things. Except all that makes me remember is that show, ZOOM. Came on right after Electric Company, right?

  • Joy East of theKingdom

    Hey I can do that too! That and the Alphebet Game (slap, clap, snap, snap: slap, clap, snap, snap…)

    I really loved ZOOM

    Just seems like yesterday…sing it with me

    Zoom, zoom, zooma, zoom…
    Zooma, zooma, zooma, zoom

    Come on give a try…
    We’re gonna show you just why…
    We’re gonna teach you to fly – high!

    We’re gonna zooooommmm
    Come on and zoom, zoom
    We’re gonna zooooooommm
    Come on and zoom, zoom…

    Joy East of theKingdom’s last blog post..Have You Forgotten (Repost)