Frolic and Detour: Sports

Tiger Woods – Or Not

Porter participated in a golf camp last week as Bill and I continued our search for the physical activity that’s going to rock his world.  His shorts were a good five inches longer than the other players’, as was his hair, and for the first couple of days he insisted on wearing his John Lennon sunglasses on the course.  The total effect was like dude, I think I’ll check out this thing called golf.


I look like Tom Petty, but I’m off to play a gnarly round of golf.

If you drove to the course and only watched him for a moment you might have thought Hey– he looks like he has it in him to be a golfer! I bet Tiger Woods started out just this way, or Sergio Garcia or Phil Mickelson.


But if you watched for a little longer you would have seen this

Tra la la. I’m so deliciously excited that I found these magic walking sticks.

or this

The chair I invented fits snugly on each butt cheek.

Then you would have been thanking God that you ordered him a unicycle for his birthday.


Three years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: Still Haunted By Christmas